I didn’t graduate high school (and how that was the best decision I ever made)
It was the late 90’s when I entered Lakeport Secondary School as a bright young new student, eager to change the world.
You see, I had high hopes for what high school was going to be like. It had to be better than what had transpired in grade eight.
I ended the previous year not attending the last day of school because students had drawn a dog face over my face in the yearbook and barked at me as I walked down the halls.
So high school offered the opportunity for a new beginning. To show up and become the girl I saw in the movies, and read in the books.
It didn’t take long in high school before I was walking down the hall, eyes cast down, feeling intense dislike directed at me.
Instead of spending time in class, I began spending time in my Guidance Counsellor’s office.
I was so confused.
What had I done so wrong that brought on so much hate?
I began hiding on stage to become another person. Every school play, talent show, fashion show, choir, I tried out for.
Stepping in to the spotlight gave the me opportunity to feel people looking at me with happiness, instead of the anger I felt all the other times.
By grade eleven the emotions directed against me were so big, I began numbing myself with drugs and alcohol.
By the end of the year, I boarded a plane and ran away to Brazil for a rotary exchange.
When I came home it wasn’t long before I lost my virginity and five months later I was pregnant.
High school just didn’t seem important any more.
I tucked my little secret deep inside. No one ever needed to know I dropped out.
Fast forward to this past weekend where I was at an event and as the first speaker took the stage, I wrote “talk about not graduating high school” in my notebook. Not only did I write it, I drew a big box of importance around it.
The next afternoon we were called in to the hallway to do an exercise that required silence and honesty.
Two lines ran parallel to each other on the floor, and you stood looking in the eye of someone you didn’t know.
The idea was that if the lovely woman running the exercise asked a question that was true, you stood at the line.
If she asked a question that wasn’t true, you stepped 5 steps back from the line.
The exercise was designed to show that everyone, no matter who they were, at any level in business, were the same.
Just open understanding and love.
Nervously standing there, looking down both lines, there was a sense of community.
The first few questions eased us in, then boom. The dreaded question came early.
“Did you drop out of high school?”
My stomach lurched.
Was I going to be the only one at the line?
I was amongst some of the most amazing entrepreneurs on the planet.
Shame washed over me.
Then it shifted.
Instead of looking down at the ground, for the first time I lifted my head up high.
I looked up and saw there were others standing at the line.
Immediately I remembered what I had written the day before.
Tell my story.
Share what happened in high school.
Firstly, I grew up in a house where mental health lived. It was full of love, but there was definitely no emotional resiliency taught.
If things got tough, you slept.
You stayed home.
You avoided the issue.
Secondly, I believe I come from a long line of highly sensitive empaths, who instead of knowing that they were absorbing things that didn’t belong to them, listened to what the doctors and psychiatrists told them.
When I look back on high school now, I see that all the anger, dislike, and hate was not actually directed at me.
It was the emotions of the students that I picked up on as I walked down the halls and took in as if it were mine.
There was no instruction for me on what being an energy absorber was like. How to protect myself from the onslaught.
So I numbed.
Leaving high school allowed me to direct my life towards what would become my life’s mission.
The human body.
By my early twenties, I began my journey in to health and fitness.
The energy in the gym lifted me up to a place that I could handle anything that happened when I left.
It began in group fitness, then the need to spend more time in the gym turned in to becoming certified as a Personal Trainer, which then lead me to certifying others as personal trainers.
The body became my life.
The gym became my energy balancer.
Not knowing that I had found the exact place for my empath self to absorb the emotions of inspiration and joy.
If I hadn’t turned to fitness, I would not have then turned to nutrition, and then to human energy.
What has felt like a skeleton in my closet all these years, dropping out of high school, gave me the opportunity to seek out the very place I needed to energetically thrive.
To open up and eventually learn the immense power that I held within me.
The gift to feel others emotions and help them guide their decisions based on the vibration of their heart.
I’m not saying that dropping out of high school is the answer.
I’m saying it was the answer for me.
If I had stayed, I may have kept numbing further and deeper.
Losing myself completely.
I won’t ever know.
All I know is that I am so grateful for the way the Universe lead me down the path I needed to take.
To help those who also feel the energy of others and don’t know how to make it their super power.
Who feel tired every day and can’t figure out why.
With a heart that hurts.
Getting stuck and overwhelmed.
Turning in and hiding.
I see you and know you.
There is another way.
To have emotional control and high vibrating energy.
To learn to master the energy around you and integrate it in to your business.
Think X-Men meets Hogwarts.
There really is a magical world all around you.
And the time to tap in is now.