Candida and Sexual Trauma
Firstly, I’m going deep in to some personal stuff here, and also some womanly issues, I’m warning you so if this isn’t your jam, don’t read any further.
To begin, let me just declare that I have a yeast overgrowth, again.
Having a candida issue is not new to me.
Throughout my life I’ve had to learn a few things as a highly sensitive person (HSP).
One is that my yoni is extremely sensitive, so perfumed baths, swimming the Great Lakes, strong laundry detergents, could all cause a recurrence of this nasty overgrowth.
Another way the overgrowth happens for me, is when I consume too much sugar.
Which has absolutely been happening over the last couple months as my third book was being written and we decided to move.
Being sober, and not realizing I still had a wee bit of emotional trauma to release, created a different form of numbing.
A new addiction.
Hagen Daaz Peanut Butter and Chocolate ice cream.
You may have giggled when you read that.
But let me assure you, this has been no small addiction.
If I’m going to come out, I’m coming all the way out, and in truth, I was putting back a pint of that sugary sweetness every 3-4 days.
With other treats on non ice cream days.
So it should come as no surprise that this past month the discomfort of candida made a comeback.
But here’s the thing.
It doesn’t always manifest the way you may be thinking, with the apparent itching and burning.
For me it is a much deeper issue.
I get depressed.
I want to sleep all the time.
My stomach bloats with inflammation.
I’m in constant discomfort.
So as I journaled this week, I was guided to look up the spiritual meaning of candida infections.
What I read shook me to the core, because it was everything I have been avoiding dealing with.
When I was young, someone I love dearly touched my yoni and I was told it wasn’t done on purpose because they were sleeping.
My son’s father would force himself on me when I was pregnant even though it hurt. He had needs he said.
Twice in my twenties I woke up after a night drinking to men having sex with me. Without my consent.
Just typing this makes my hands shake.
Because I’ve never talked about it.
But do you know what happens when you have sexual trauma and you keep it bottled up inside?
According to multiple articles I read, it can cause candida issues.
Which makes sense from the level of the sacral chakra.
One article specifically felt like it quoted me by saying, someone with repressed trauma can complain that their husband wants it too much, and can bring candida on to create a barrier to having to be intimate.
That one hit home.
Now you may be reading this and feeling sad, maybe you can connect with some of it, or maybe you feel bad for me.
This awareness is the greatest gift in the world.
Awareness is the open book to easy.
Once the light is shone on an issue, you have to power to shift it.
And the deeper you go into clearing your internal clutter, the more you get to shift.
Knowing this sexual trauma is there, meant I could make the appointment that needed to be made and I could take my power back.
It’s been four days and I haven’t had any sugar.
My body is going to heal, and so are my emotions.
Finding triggers, traumas, and un-dealt with emotions, creates the opportunity to move forward in big ways.
To grow and expand.
We are so accustomed to feeling the bigger emotions and stuffing them down, numbing them, or running from them.
But that doesn’t make them go away.
It bottles them up.
And then they come back.
Either as a visceral response to something happening in the present moment.
Or as a physical body discomfort.
So the only answer is to deal with them to remove them from the body.
But you don’t have to do it alone.
That’s the key.
I knew that what I found was bigger than I could work through on my own, so I asked for help.
Know that doing the internal work creates the space for more.
Starting next week there is an opportunity for you to create space if you are open.
This Monday I am beginning a small intimate group that is journeying in to generational and past life trauma.
It’s called Ancestral Energy Alchemy, and is designed to shift energy to create space.
Eight weeks of magic.
To go in and find fears you have been carrying that don’t belong to you.
That you have brought from another lifetime.
Or that a parent passed down to you.
I don’t offer this very often.
If you know that is something that you need to work on, message me back or sign up here!