When is vulnerable, too vulnerable?
The other day I was chatting with a good friend of mine, and I asked the question, “do you think the things I write about are too vulnerable?”.
Since this year began, I’ve shared about having my best financial year in my business yet my mortgage bounced, my sexual trauma and candida, how I have bad credit, that I didn’t graduate high school, and so much more.
It’s like I’ve opened up the doors of my soul and displayed every nook and cranny for all the world to see.
Of course my friend reflected my fear back to me and said, “I think so. I’m not sure if I would hire you when it seems like you don’t have everything together”.
Even though her words felt like a blow to the stomach, they were exactly what I needed to hear.
Because the truth is, vulnerability is my superpower.
It’s what I’m here on this Earth to do.
If I could break down all the walls of shame, I would.
Because as humans, we are hard wired to guilt, shame, blame and victimhood.
It’s what we have witnessed, and how we have learned.
That it’s not ok to cry.
Don’t talk about what’s really going on.
Pretend everything is ok.
No one cares if you are having a bad day.
Keep that sh*t to yourself.
We get embarrassed when something goes wrong.
Afraid people will find out.
Will judge us.
We hide behind closed doors.
I know this because these were my stories.
And by choosing to open up this year, I’ve learned that they are all our stories.
So many people have messaged me thanking me for sharing what they are experiencing.
Helping them feel like they are not alone.
That there is hope.
Because they have felt shame and didn’t want anyone to know.
I’m not ok with that.
Those emotions and feelings held within the body, create a blockage of energy.
Self sabotage and feelings of being stuck.
Not to mention, the energy causes physical symptoms, begging to be released.
It’s an internal energy drain clog.
Which vulnerability helps unclog.
Now I know that not everyone is going to be as forthright on social media as I am about these things.
But there are ways to help you begin to feel safe with vulnerability.
To begin to plunge stored, stuck energy through your body.
It begins by getting your thoughts and feelings out.
Whether you talk to a friend or journal.
The key is to talk to someone you trust, not someone who has a history of making you feel bad.
Let all the feelings out.
Even the bad ones.
Especially the bad ones.
You are not a bad person because you get angry or frustrated.
You are human.
Holding on to those emotions only makes you more angry and frustrated.
Writing them out, gives you the opportunity to see the words, and clear your internal body.
Which usually feels pretty freaking amazing.
And if you need to join a program or go to therapy, do that.
Find someone who works specifically with this stuff.
Personally, I do both.
I join programs AND go to therapy.
Because this is the work.
Creating space within.
Releasing to create flow.
Feeling safe to be ourselves.
Knowing what we do in this world is important.
Our emotions are important.
We are important.
One other thing about vulnerability, is it’s meant to help, not harm.
There is a difference in sharing to help others, and sharing because it’s how you feel.
When I write my vulnerability posts, I write them to get it out, then I go back and make sure that the words help others not hurt them.
If you simply write your anger, then your shame becomes blame which then creates resentment and guilt, which defeats the purpose.
We want to break walls, not build them.
So I will continue to share what’s real and raw.
The truth of what this incredible human journey feels like.
It’s highs and lows.
The beauty and the shadow.
Because that is why I am here.
To be the guide, the teacher, the mentor.
To break stigmas and carry the lantern.
You are amazing and I love you.
P.S. if you are ready to join a program that will support you through this work, The Chakra Business Academy has a few more spots open this month. You can apply here.